Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
