Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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