And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
