We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
