Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
