Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize