You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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