I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
