Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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