but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
