I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
