The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
