Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
