If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
