What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
