She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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