my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
