I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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