Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
