Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
we should paint friendship bongs
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