i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
