i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
