you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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