Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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