Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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