we're chasing vodka with high fives
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
