Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we're so committed to being not committed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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