Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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