In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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