the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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