you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
