I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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