big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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