Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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