you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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