the new term for farting is butt boxing.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we're making bets on your personal life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
