She is in my trunk
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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