in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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