You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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