Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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