I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
