At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
