I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
