you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
