i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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