dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
