Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
