Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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