You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
