i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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