I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
