I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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