I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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