Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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