ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
this is an emotional support booty call
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize