You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
