So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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