Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
