They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
