Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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