Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
