listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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