Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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