i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
